So here I am doing the 90 day program all over again. Why? Well, because over the Christmas period and thereafter my devils came out clearly: I discovered wheat/bread/baked goods as a terrible cascade food which lead me back to sugar. A downward spiral, but as bad as it was it was necessary to see where my issues lie hidden and what still needs to be resolved. My goals have not changed:
- Freedom. From habits, memories, emotional connections to food.
- Self-esteem. Being in my body felt so great – unlike anything I had experienced before. Having the body I always dreamt of is no more an illusion. It is easily possible. And I want it to stay.
- More energy. I now know how wonderful, how entirely whole I can feel. I want that back. Permanently.
- Less sleep. 6 hours, feeling great all day without yawning even once? Easily possible. Feels great too and saves me an incredible 2 days + (!!!) per month (!!!!). That’s 24 days per year! Holy cow, almost a month! The gift of time is possible.
- Happiness. When in deep spring/ketosis I was plain happy 24/7. Now that I know that it is possible, that I know what it feels like, I want and need it back.
My approach is very different now. Mainly:
- Time: unlike during the first round I hardly spend time with the group, meaning in FB. In a away that lets me focus more on myself. It seems that I need less support. Hopefully that means that the changes are for good.
- Expectations: they are focused because now I know form experience what is possible. I do not reach for a dream. I am internalizing a way of being.
- Surprises: Naturally the 2nd time around I know what’s coming. The Friday enhancements are nothing new, and yet they are eagerly awaited. I know that next week coffee is out. Good, so no panic, just a good reason to drop the occasional espresso and stick to my goal.
- Fascination: I love this program. No more in an enthusiastic being in-love feeling, but in a deep, knowing feeling that will last a lifetime. After and with WF in my life I can never go back to before –however healthy and happy my “before WF” life was.
This is the conversion. It is about rooting new awareness and (body) experience, about dropping ALL bad habits (in my case sugar and bread/baked goods), of fully streamlining WF. Not because I have to or because I am forcing myself or because I want my money’s worth. But because I choose the WF lifestyle as the happy, healthy way I want to live. No more Eric said so.
Like I said, I have no choice.